Guilty Conscience

Guilty Conscience

Feet dragged along the soaked ground as heavy, laboured breaths left his mouth. He couldn't see anything in front of him; even the steps were but a blur, focus shifting rapidly, blackness seeming to suck him in. Blood mingled with the puddles of water on the ground. If he had the energy, any energy at all, he would be able to look down at his reflection and notice that he was in a dire state. He didn't cry out, nor whisper for help as pain racked his body, and he took a sharp breath in, crimson red trickling past his mouth. His feet felt like lead. He couldn't walk any further. He was home...but what if Naruto wasn't there? His heart ached, fingers trembling upon the doorknob. One knock. That was all it would take to let him know, but his hand faltered as images of bloodshed and screams of agony pierced his fragile mind. A whimper rose in his throat, and he held himself with his arms around his stomach, blood seeping through his fingers, clothes torn. A light turned on, glaringly bright in the darkness of the night, as his hair stuck to his forehead. “Sasuke? Is that...you?” That voice was the voice of an angel – one he hadn't seen in two weeks. It was Naruto.

The first thing that came into Sasuke's view were his beautiful, ocean-blue eyes full of worry.

Naruto gasped. His eyebrows creased, and he lunged forwards as soon as he saw Sasuke begin to fall and he caught him. “Hey! Hey, Sasuke! What the hell happened? Sasuke...?” Naruto paused when he saw that Sasuke's lips were moving, but he wasn't saying anything. Panic washed over the blond. Was Sasuke delirious? Gritting his teeth, he stopped the door from closing on them with a foot and rushed him inside, lying him on the lounge. Sasuke was hurt. No, more than hurt, Naruto realised with shock, as he ran a finger down his ribcage, his shirt nearly ripped to pieces; frayed at the edges, and torn. His chest was exposed, water droplets sliding down his skin, splattered with blood. Was it his own, or someone else's? Pursing his lips, Naruto cleared his mind of any thought. “Hold on,” he murmured huskily, getting up off the lounge. “I'll be right back. Don't move, okay?” His heart palpitated in his chest as he moved to the bathroom and got a cloth for his forehead, antiseptic for his wounds and bandages – plenty of them. Running the cloth under the tap, he wrung a bit of the water out of it before going back to Sasuke. If anything, he looked worse than he did when he rushed him inside.

Sasuke had his eyes open, orbs of charcoal staring into Naruto's with fear. They were wide, almost slitted. “It's all my fault...it's my fault...mine...” he muttered shakily over and over, and Naruto dabbed his forehead with the cloth before placing it on his temple, swallowing thickly. What was his fault? Why was he murmuring it over and over? Confused, Naruto slowly stroked his wet hair and kissed his cheek, trying to comfort him as best as he could as he bandaged his wounds. Waiting patiently for him to speak, Naruto felt the bitter sting of tears well in his eyes. It just wasn't fair. He knew the perils of going on missions, and he prayed every night for Sasuke to come back home unscathed, but it hadn't come true. If only he hadn't ever left to go on that mission, he thought bitterly, startled as Sasuke reached a hand up to gingerly touch his cheek, a weak smile appearing.

“I told them...” Sasuke whispered quietly, barely loud enough for Naruto to hear – his voice a wisp among the wind. Rain battered the closed windows and lightening illuminated the room, lighting up their solemn faces. “I told them not to go ahead...they didn't see it before it was too late... All I saw was blood...blood, everywhere...they were being sliced, cut and stabbed, and they fell before my feet... I made the enemy retreat, but...but then...it...was too late... They were gone...a-and it's all my f-fault...” he started stammering, and choked sobs filled the tense silence as he began to cry, and Naruto cradled his head in his lap, his lips trembling. “I could've...done something... I c-could've...”

“Sasuke...”

“Why, Naruto? Why did it have to happen? It was all my fault!” He cried out, tossing his head back and forth on Naruto's lap, tears streaming down his cheeks as he stared up into his eyes, mirrored with tears, just like his own. “I never should've gone on that mission...if I didn't, then they wouldn't have...I was responsible for them...I was their captain, and now...now, their deaths are upon me...”

“No, Sasuke...it wasn't your fault... You didn't know what would happen... You couldn't have known...” Shaking like a leaf in his arms, Sasuke sniffed and buried his head into his chest, feeling Naruto's arms wrap around his back, and shivering at the calm breath on his neck. “Come on...I'll run you a bath, and you'll get better soon, I promise...” Blinking, Naruto remembered. “Have you gone to the Hokage's office yet to report what happened?”

“N-no...”

“As long as you do it soon, I'm sure it won't be a problem. ANBU will no doubt check the bodies of your teammates and report back later to Tsunade-san...and then...the funeral.” His eyes darkened, and he gripped Sasuke's shoulders tightly, eyes searching his coal-black orbs. “But promise me something, first.”

Sasuke blinked away the tears and looked away for a moment, before he whispered: “W-what is it...?”

“...Don't you dare fall into another relapse again. ...If it gets too much, quit and I'll avenge their deaths for you.”

“But-”

“No. Sasuke, you know I worry about you. I love you, damnit! I am not going to see you put your life in danger out of revenge for your teammates. Just please, promise me you won't do anything stupid...”

“I promise...” Smiling weakly, Naruto kissed his lips gently as he ruffled his hair and asked him to stand up. The raven-haired boy trembled where he stood, and clung to Naruto's neck as the blond picked him up and walked into the bathroom, watched him carefully out of the corner of his eyes, and bit his lip as he ran the bath; testing it with a finger to make sure it wasn't too hot nor too cold to hurt Sasuke. Sasuke shyly averted his gaze, wincing as Naruto helped him to undress, and they both got into the bath together. Sighing to himself, Naruto traced the faded scars along his chest, frowning. More scars to add to his collection...though I suppose I'll call them battle scars, huh... Mind wandering, he closed his eyes as Sasuke snuggled into his chest, curled up into a ball, whimpering softly.

He wasn't far from losing himself.

But while Naruto was there, he would make sure that nothing would happen to his raven, whether he was damned or not.